The Birth

Unfortunately, after all the build up, all the hype, all the talk, walking the walk.

I damn well went and nearly missed it didn't I?!!

Typical Lew moment and although I cannot take all the blame for nearly missing the birth, I should have known this sort of thing would happen to me.

The day went like this

Natasha had been saying that Isabella was definately coming early, thats what tends to happen apparantly. Third child for her, first for me. I will definately take her word for it on this one. Against my better judgement I took her word and awaited the early arrival.

Ms Know-all nearly got egg her face though. Yes she WAS early, but only a day earlier. Not the two weeks that was envisaged. We hadn't exactly had dry runs for the impending birth, there were no major discussions about what we do when the pains start. I just figured that I grab her overnight bag, send the kids packing to the dads or Natasha's family and me a Natasha toodle off to have a bubba. Not really seeming like its real life and all in a dream really.

We had been decorating like mad in the last two weeks to get things ready, I had bought carpet for most of the house and the last bit to be laid was to be laid on the Thurs. It was the only day they could do it. please hold on for the due date Natasha. Please.


Nope. Not gonna do as you ask at all.

So I went off to work around the corner on the Thurs, leaving Natasha in bed as she was really suffering with her back on this day. We knew the birth was immenent as she was having lots of pains and was really suffering.

This was a big day, I had promised Natasha that I would do just a few hours work as she was suffering so bad, I wouldn't have done any but Gavin was needing the help and I woulda felt very guilty for not being there as promised.

No need for the guilt mind as I was only there for 10 mins when Natasha called and suggested with all the calmness in the world (sarcasm) that I should get home immediately as IT has started.

Gavin guessed the phone call and with an ironic smirk, I left him at work and dashed home the five mins it takes to get back. My heart was pounding and rang my mama for a quick reassurance and to inform her it seems like IT, is happening. At times like this, Lew needs to ring his mama. I believe I always will and hope I do. My mama is massive in my life and I want her around when a new chapter in mine starts.

I'd like to convince you that I am not a mamas boy...have I?!

Like I said, I raced home and got to the front door, heart beating, I opened to Natasha in a standing position that I can only describe as a cross between Natasha doing the robot dance, whilst trying to push a wall over. For some reason, when in this unbelievable pain, woman find it easier to stand with legs open and holding onto the wall like they are slow dancing with it. Add to this, a low pain filled wailing. If there were any doubt at all, would say she is definately in labour.

So, here we have it, its started, lets go Natasha, what do you want me to do?


Start the car?


Get the overnight bag?


Get you a drink?


Ring family?


Call an ambulance?


What could possibly be needed?


Thats right, when labour finally starts and we are both about to commence another chapter in each others lives, what is it you want me to do?......


Hang the washing on the line.........


'I'm sorry? did you say hang the washing on the line?'


Yep thats right Isabella, when you are older and I show this blog, your mama, asked me to hang the washing up when you was on your way to meet us.

Alledgedly, I cannot be trusted to remember to hang up washing when she isn't here and it may go damp and smelly. I have survived quite well for many years now, even managed to save and purchase my own home. I am sure I can hang up some washing while Natasha is in hospital.

Besides all this, Natasha wasn't even ready for the hospital, according to her the hospital may send you back home if you are not so many centimetres wide down below. Natasha felt she wasn't at the right 'entry requirement' right now. This is ridiculous, I was witnessing some severe pain and this severe pain she was feeling wasn't enough for a hospital!!
I was really concerned as I haven't witnessed this kind of pain since Andy Scrabble last 'done' his hamstring........
She soon changed her mind about going to the hospital as the pain increased, there were no waters breaking in the near future but she wanted to go. I told her to get in the car while I grabbed everything and called the hospital to tell them we have a crazed monstor who needs to burst, on her way in.
Secretly getting time to panic on my own. I also used this snatched moment to have a cheeky excited smile to myself. I am going to be a father. Its real now.
Responsability is about about to smack me full pelt in the chops.
I was snapped out of my dazed, yet inane state by an almighty scream from the car, Natasha was thinking of the neighbours and used polite language to hurry me up.


On arrival we were allocated quite a plush delivery suite. I then proceded to comfort my beautiful girlfriend for the next 3 1/2 hours with my humour (of course) whilst holding her hand and rubbing her back. For anyone who doesn't understand, jokes and humourous 'ditties' are NOT welcome in the delivery suite.
Nor are requests for Natasha to revise some runs for my Black taxi knowledge!
In fact she wasn't exactly a bundle of laughs in there at all, my whole comedic repetoire was wasted. Mind you I still took a couple of sneaky photos when she was in immense pain, that made up for it.
I also took a phone call from Terry and a phone call from her mum. Multi tasking whilst giving birth, what a hell of a man I am?!

I know she loves me.


So, when we arrived on first examination she was 3cm. 2 hours later (even tho the pain was what it was) , she was only 4cm. On discussion with the midwife, this could be a tough one, in for the long haul. Natasha was high as a kite at this point on gas and air, and it took all my self control to take it from her and do a Delboy for the comedy. I never.
With the birth no where in sight. I took the opportunity to to see my mama who had arrived a bit earlier. Big cuddle from her and reassurance was enough.
I was doing well. I found the contractions easy and the prospect of the birth wasn't worrying me at all. !
Mum went to get me a sandwich and I made two phone calls cos I got the time, one to the kids dad to look after the kids and one to the carpet man to delay him.

I strolled back up and walked into the delivery suite to see the bottom half of my child escaping.

Yes, thats right. Unbeknown to me, Natasha had decided she didn't want to wait the extra hour and a half for waters to be broken, she had a sudden urge to push. and push she did. She even caught the midwife unaware as she was washing her hands at the time I walked in. Natasha did it with no help. Typical.
I witnessed my child arriving..... just. I also witnessed the goal end, which I vowed not to see.

Isabella Blue Keeble arrived into the world at 12.14pm on 30/7/09.

Weighing in at 7lb 15oz (which I believe makes her a Bantemweight!)

She was born in her bag as the waters never had a chance to break. It was like watching a new born foal being born on a wildlife programme. So I have been told, born in the bag is lucky. they become very good swimmers. Load of old balls.

Anyway, on arrival of baby, cue Lewis to blub his heart out for a good hour. It is truly the most amazing thing I have witnessed. Yes, I was told it would be but you can't give it justice until you have been involved.
I also cut the cord. while crying of course.
Welcome to my daughter Isabella Blue Keeble. Well done to her most beautiful Mama.
x