The big question

You see, I have been thinking about it for a LONG time, a very long time. It felt so very right, yet I couldn't help but think it is too soon. That is the problem with me, I second guess, it isn't that it isn't right to do it so soon, I am just not a hot-bed of spontaneity, that's all.
For the last couple of years I have been doing things differently, I had a baby, we had planned it, of course; we hadn't planned it to happen as quickly as it did! but it did, and praise science for what was produced, a cracker of a child.
I wanted that baby, I also wanted to spend my life with Natasha the moment I met her, she was way out of my league and couldn't believe it when she smiled and looked interested, I couldn't even think she was drunk as she was at work but she liked me and what a lucky girl she has been!!

Secretly, I have been making a few trips up to Hatton Garden to see a friend of a friend who owns a diamond setting business and if you excuse the pun, it was a 'gem' of a find, he got me the stone I requested and the mount I believed Natasha would like and once I had parted with a small fortune bob is your mothers brother.

The ring was now in the bag and at this point the nerves really started to kick in, I wouldn't say I was scared for the wrong answer, I just have always believed that I will ask this question only once, so it had to be good and had to be right, how the hell does someone make it right and when is it a good time to be so romantic, so cliched and sickly. I can be romantic but I feel like vomiting when it is too much. Unfortunately, I felt that I was going to have to fall into the vomit catergory.

A weekend trip to Bruges was brought for her christmas present so it was ideal, Isabella was to join us on her first trip to Europe, to be fair; it couldnt have been more of a perfect weekend. It was so easy to get there, Isabella was amazing and kept us and others laughing the whole weekend and Bruges was out of this world.The hotel is actually hard to put into words, amazing luxory and comfort. I have heard of good things about the city but nothing prepared me at all for how beautiful it was and it made it easier to 'pop' the question. Everywhere you look in Bruges is stunning, so the nerves kicked in as to where and when I will propose, I was a wreck but couldn't show it, in hindsight Natasha wondered what the hell was wrong with me from the beginning, she was also extremely suspicious of me shouting out "I'm nervous", whilst I had a doze on the eurotunnel in the car!

It has consumed me recently too much and it was only right that I 'get it out of the way' as they say. We got there early and thought the best thing was to get the ring from the case to the pocket. done-check. No suspicions there.

No to walk around Bruges and be interested whilst sorting out the best place to do it. er, not done, er, no check.

It was awful, I was sweating and had a couple of mini panic attacks, what the hell is wrong with me?!!

In the end I made her walk round and around Bruges with me and didn't get to do it so we went back to feed the bubba and get ready to go out for dinner. I was psyching myself up and knew that tonight was the night, that way we could enjoy the rest of the weekend(well, I could). So what did we do?...I made her walk round and around again and when we stumbled upon the statue of lovers, I thought this is as corny and as cliched as you can get. I just couldn't do it. I even paused right by it and thgought I was gonna collapse with stress! I made a joke about it being a rubbish statue and made for the nearest restaurant. A beautiful meal was had and we made our way back to the hotel with the bubba in the buggy, It had been raining but ceased for our walk passed the statue.

To make it all seem a surprise I had spent most of the holiday talking of why it isn't a good idea to get engaged so early in a relationship blah blah blah. I was doing my own head in.

As we got to the statue ask her how happy she was, is there anything I could do to make it happier, I went into my pocket and she started to pull away from me...uh oh
I had to grab her to show her I was serious, all the times I had jokingly got on one knee were about to backfire, she was doing a runner!
She kept asking me if I was serious (I hadn't even asked her yet), I was serious, I showed her the awful box (that my mama said she wouldn't even notice) containng the ring and asked her. She started to cry and kept asking me "really?", I felt choked myself and asked her again as if it was my final answer, I could almost hear the Who wants to be a millionaire music and the lights slamming down on me with that awful music!
She looked at me and said yes, I cried, partly out of the amazing stress release and mostly because I have never met anyone like her and cannot believe she would want to spend her life with me.

She has since spent the weekend in shock and randomly sobs, hopefully not in regret.

I am very happy and look forward to reading my blog back to myself in years to come and seeing how happy I am.

I would like to thank the following in the making of this film.

All the keebles for the secrets being kept.

Paul for putting me in touch with his diamond buddy. Thank u.

My work mates, who spent the last two weeks laughing at my nervousness and reminding me that I am lucky to have her, as I am a little, fat, dwarf, bender. Many thanks. I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

Isabella for being amazing.

So...roll on summer 2012......The olympics, the european championships, and I am getting married.