Shish

How can a kebab shop be closed at 12.30am? I can’t understand it, it made me a very upset little tubby man, I tell you.

I don’t go out as often as I used to, in fact it is very few and far between but it doesn’t bother me one bit. I have different priorities now and love having a family and sitting there grunting my disgust at how bad Eastenders is or how diabolical Coronation St is, night after night. Soaps are my sole reason that I don’t watch much T.V. Television is bad for adults, Makes us very lazy, I could live without it but only as long as I lived next to a pub that shows every football game it can.

Never the less, I miss my friends; and when I go out, to me, it is a big thing. Big thing as in I won’t eat beforehand because I have every intention to chow down a large chicken shish and chips....washed down with a Diet Coke (has to be a Diet Coke) at the end of the evening. I wasn’t particularly late last night, would have been earlier but Scrabble and Dandy (not their real names) decided we hadn’t consumed enough alcohol and ‘persuaded’ me to cross the road to SO.UK bar. Anyway once I had emptied my wallet and gone into my overdraft as I paid for our drinks, it was time for the train home. I got off at Morden with the plan to assault and attack the menu of a place I haven’t been before, ‘Kebaby’ in the main street. I had eyed it up on the way out and got myself pretty excited over it! So this was the culmination of a how nights eagerness and anticipation.

CLOSED

Closed?

Had it sold out of Pittas?

Had the snow not killed enough dogs recently to keep the place stocked up and ready for the drunken fatties like myself to chow?

If I recall rightly, I was so annoyed I grumpily kicked some litter and walked off talking to myself mumbling things like ‘how can a kebab shop be closed?’ and repeating the word ‘unbelievable’ over and over again. I was so unhappy I can tell you. To top it off, at the bus stop waiting for the red thing my iPod decided to run out of battery so I was a very unhappy, alone, man at bus stop listening to nothing without his kebab.

I am still baffled as to why it was closed. Natasha reckons it was because it was only a Wednesday, she just doesn’t understand the drinking culture; I think I told her this in my drunken state whilst patting her head in a patronising manner. I am such a catch!